Time Out and the Toddler
I'm at home while Cundy and the kids are at her mother's house, so I've actually got a moment to write. It's been too long. Tonight Cundy told me that LC, our 2.5 year old daughter, was being "the instigator" again today. Our 3.5 year old son certainly has his moments, but he generally doesn't look for trouble. LC, on the other hand, got put in time out twice today apparently, both times for seeking out her big brother and destroying his art projects. The thing is, though, it has absolutely no effect on her. She laughs during timeout. She enjoys timeout. Sometimes she even asks for timeout--and not just because she's grumpy and overstimulated. My son, ever the Rules Follower, is devastated when he gets put in timeout. Reading about one pediatrician's views on timeouts tonight I realized something.
(Well, the first thing I realized is that this particular pediatrician's practice of spraying Chloroseptic into a child's mouth as punishment is so wacky that I don't know whether to laugh or be horrified. But I'm definitely going to try it on my terrier next time she eats food off the table.)
What I realized was that one approach to parenting will never work for both of my children. My son is passionate, tender, and moody, and he feels safe in a world with clear boundaries and rules. My daughter, on the other hand, is even-keeled, steady, soulful, and so secure in her being that she does as she pleases most of the time, rules be damned. She is utterly fearless of consequences. When she was a year and a half old, she was already throwing herself down slides at the park. She's actually not reckless, and she's not impulsive, she's just fearless.
So here's my confession. I love that she can't be easily "tamed." I love that she giggles her way through a time out. I love that she takes on the Trickster role in the house. For one thing, she's so darn cute it's impossible to get angry at her, and for another, her brother needs her to show him that being a little wild can be a good thing.
Of course, she better straighten up and fly right before she starts liking boys. Hmm...where's that list of girls' schools...?